Gratification

I have this quote saved as the wallpaper on my phone:

I struggle with impulse control. A lot. I'm all about instant gratification, even when it hurts me in the long run. Even knowing it will hurt me in the long run. If I could change one thing about myself, it would be this. Nothing has caused more problems in my life than my need to feel good right this second, be it with food, spending, or dealing with difficult situations. The obvious downside to this is that I'm stuck with a lot of messes to clean up, which is far worse to deal with than the rush I got from whatever it was that I wanted in the moment.

This is a very childish, immature way to live, and I'm so tired of it. I want to be healthy, physically, financially, and emotionally. I'm putting this out there so I don't forget.

It started with a 10k

For the past couple months, my friend A & I have been talking about registering for the 10k part of the Woman's Hospital Half Marathon. I kept putting it off & putting it off, knowing that registering would mean I'd need to start training. It was too hot for that! Over Labor Day, they finally offered a deal I couldn't refuse: $20 off the race fee. I bit the bullet & registered.

http://womanshalfmarathon.com

It's December 9, 2012 in Baton Rouge, LA. I know I won't be in shape enough to run 6.4 miles by then, but I'm so grateful for the push it's given me to restart C25K again. Exciting!

1 month / 20 lbs

Another bead on my bracelet!

Days: 24 / Pounds: 17

I lost my blogging steam for a couple weeks. Whoops :) It's hard to believe I've only been on IP for 3 1/2 weeks. It feels so "everyday" now.

Things have been going really well. I've lost 17 lbs, several inches from my waist, and many inches all over my body. My lean mass is holding steady around 170 lbs, and my body fat percentage is decreasing. Yay! My goal of losing over 100 lbs may be a little overly ambitious (read: impossible) if my lean mass doesn't decrease significantly. I'll see how things are going in a few months, and reevaluate my goal from there. I'm much more interested in getting in the 25-28% range for body fat than weighing a specific amount. At 6'2", I'm never going to be a small person. But seeing 1XX on the scale would be a dream come true :-p

I've decided to do a slightly modified version of IP. I became bulimic 10 years ago after losing a significant amount of weight with a very restrictive food plan. I was terrified that the "bad" foods would make be regain my weight loss immediately, so I'd purge to get rid of it. 3 months of intensive treatment has kept me binge/purge free for 10 years, and I don't want to trigger old fears. I'm eating higher fat low carb foods, like cheese & salad dressing, as I don't want to be so restrictive that I trigger old "food fears" & disordered eating.



I got a little lax last week with my food planning, and had a couple days where I completely forgot to bring IP packets to work. I've also been reeeally bad about taking my daily vitamins. To help me stay on track, I prepped my IP food for the week as soon as I got home from my weigh in this morning. I put 3 packets--two unrestricted & 1 restricted--together in a Ziploc. I also put the daily ration of supplements into a smaller baggy, and put one of those into each daily bag. No forgetting & no lugging bottles of vitamins around :) Win! I also picked up a Monbento box, which will be perfect for my daily lunch veggies & salad.

Because I like symbolic things, I've decided to start a Chamilia bracelet. I'm going to get a new charm for every 10 lbs I lose. Looking forward to getting my 2nd charm (hopefully by September 1st!).

And finally, a random public restroom mirror pic :) I have no full-length mirrors at home or at work, but I want to be better about tracking the changes. This was taken at -15 lbs. still a long way to go, but it's really happening!

First week random stuff

My husband accused me of sounding like an advertisement in this blog, so I'll try to be a little less enthusiastic ;) I'm finishing up my 5th day on the program. My first official weigh in isn't til Tuesday, but judging from my home scale, I've lost 9-10 lbs since I started. Yay! I know my weight loss will slow down after this week, but I'm thrilled to have that sort of boost to get me going.

I won't lie; the first few days on plan were rough. The third day, in particular, was my worst. By that afternoon, I had untouchable hunger, and one of the worst headaches I've ever experienced. I tried upping my salt (a tip recommended by the plan), but nothing would touch it. I came home & got my grumpy, irritated ass in bed for the rest of the night. The 4th day (yesterday) was great! Minimal hunger, no headaches. Yay!

My experience with IP food has been a mixed bag so far. I'll be glad when the experimentation is done, and I can select my own food (week 3 at my clinic). While some things have been really good--most of the "restricted" foods that are limited to one per day--others, like the soups, are not my thing, to be kind. I'd read on random forums and blogs that the puddings have an odd texture on their own, but are great in recipes. I was excited to try the banana pudding as a pancake, made by beating a couple of egg whites & baking powder into the banana pudding powder. It was edible, but eh. Not something I'm likely to try again, particularly with the banana flavor.

 

I'd also heard about the puddings being blended to make a shake. I tried that last night with the milk chocolate pudding, and OMG yes! Love! A cup of water and a handful of ice cubes somehow fluffed up enough to fill a 40 oz cup with chocolatey, creamy, on-plan yumminess. I'm particularly happy that this worked so well, since puddings are in the unrestricted category. They have only 1-2 carbs per packet, vs upwards of 15 in the restricted ones. Guilt free and filling!

As I mentioned, I found the soups to be pretty revolting. The first one I tried was tomato basil. I *love* tomato soup, so I dug in without hesitation. Unfortunately, the aftertaste that hit me was horrible. I'll tolerate a lot from soup, but holy hell. I had to chug the rest of the soup to get it down. When I found chicken soup in day 2's meal plan, I was really apprehensive about trying it. The first bite was surprisingly tasty; however, it didn't take long for me to feel like I was eating a thick chicken gravy and feel super grossed out. I couldn't even bring myself to chug this one; I dumped about half of it. I've read that it's better with some veggies added, and I could totally see that, but I'm not brave enough to try it again. Ugh. I'm kind of shuddering just imagining :-S

 

There have been many products that fall in the "okay" category, and several others that I really enjoyed. I'm happy that I'll have a good assortment of things to choose from when I'm on my own with food selection. Can't wait! 

I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about my long term goal. I wish my goals were largely motivated by health, but I'd be lying if I said they were. I want to wear cute clothes in normal sizes! That is my main goal. I'll definitely be happy to be healthier and at less risk for obesity-related diseases, but the clothes are where it's at! I promised my 8 y/o niece/mini-BFF that we'd get matching bikinis next summer ;)

A friend mentioned plus size model Robyn Lawley a few days ago, and I've been sort of obsessed ever since. At 6'1", she's the closest I've found to my 6'2" height. Her body is exactly how I'd like to look: curvy, but healthy. I'm not unrealistic enough to think I'll be model material (she is 9 years younger than me, after all!), but I think that her body type is similar to mine, and attainable for me. 

Source: July 2012 Glamour Magazine

Source: Vogue.it

Finally, I've found myself talking about my diet a lot more than I have in the past during weight loss attempts. I'm not annoying about it (I hope!), but I feel so empowered and confident this time around. I've never not been overweight. Ever. But this time around, I feel like I really can do it. And I will.

Day 1

I don't think I've ever been more excited about all the things I'm *not* eating :) So far, everything is going really well. For the first two weeks, our coach (hi Mom!) is grouping our daily foods together. This makes meal planning a breeze! I just grabbed the bundle labeled with day 1, my vitamins, drink shaker, veggies, & info packet, and I was out the door.

The shaker cup has this neat whisk ball inside to make sure everything mixes well.

Here is my meal plan for week 1. Our packets are pre-selected for the first two weeks to give us an opportunity to try everything. After that, we'll send in our requests & plan ourselves.

We also received a handy journal to track everything:

I'm using the notes section to track whether I liked something or not :)

Overall, I feel great! I know the worst is yet to come, but I'm feeling really positive.

FINALLY!

Even though only a few (or less) weeks have passed since I first heard about Ideal Protein, it felt like it took forever for this day to get here. We met this evening to learn about the plan, receive our food & supplements for the week, get weighed, and have our body composition measured. My body fat is high--no surprise there! What completely blew my mind was my lean mass; it's 171.3 lbs! Granted, I'm 6'2", but still! My lean mass--bones, organs, muscle, anything that isn't fat--has a BMI of 22.3. Ha! If I were to weigh 194, which is 24.9 on the BMI chart, I'd have about 10% body fat. 10% is the bare minimum for women for essential fat. 25%-ish is recommended for my age. 25% body fat would put me at around 230 lbs. That completely floored me. While Ideal Protein is big on maintaining lean mass, I'm guessing mine will shrink a little as I have less fat to carry around. I've weighed 230 lbs before. While I didn't have cellulite or rolls, I still had a good bit of fat. It'll be interesting to see how things change as I lose!

I got home pretty late & haven't really had a chance to go through everything I received today. I'll post pictures tomorrow, and start reviewing the food :)

SO excited to finally begin!

Anxiously waiting

A few weeks ago, my mom sent a text asking me to call her. This is rare for my mom, so I called right away, fearing the worst. We chatted for a few, and then she told me the news that has since changed my life: her office is opening an Ideal Protein clinic, and would I like to join? Without even really thinking, I instantly agreed. I've been desperate to get "back on the wagon" with weight loss; her news could not have come at a more needed time. She told me it would be a few weeks til we started, since they were just getting trained & had to wait for shipments.

I've spent the interim reading every Ideal Protein-related blog and message board I can find. Thankfully, the waiting is about to end; we're having our first meeting the day after tomorrow, where we'll learn the ins and outs of the program and get our food for the week. Yay!

I haven't ever been this excited for a new eating plan/lifestyle/diet. After trying everything under the sun, losing 100 lbs, becoming bulimic, going through treatment, and regaining 100 lbs at the 10 lbs/year rate, I've had a roller coaster decade. I've learned from my experience that I feel my best when I stick to lower carb diets. My body does not handle carbs well, and I have to eat <1200 calories/day in order to see very slow weight loss on typical carb-heavy low fat/low cal diets.

Anyway, I'm not planning to write out my entire life's history here. The past has happened, and now I'm here. Excited for the next chapter of my life. Fantasizing about cute clothes, bikinis, feeling comfortable in my skin. And on an airplane :-p

I'm going to post progress pictures, thoughts on the program food, and weight loss stats. I'm particularly excited about the body composition tests I'll have every week. It'll be really cool to see just how much of my body is fat, muscle, water, etc. I'm ready!